Emotional Resource

During my initial days as Software Engineer, I was going through a rough patch. There was this huge maintenance project(incidentally only billable project) post 9/11, the period when downsizing was only decision management could do; for the project was on the verge of being discontinued. Only few were left on the project to fix defects on 'FoxPro', it was something to do with co-ordinate mathematics using query language. For a nasty defect, I provided a solution which was not exactly meeting the expected behavior but better by far. To my luck the defect turned out to be an enhancement 'something which contractually obligated current project' and needed a radical change in behavior. The Project manager, unable to sustain pressure then was trying to get this done somehow by pushing too far.

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All of a sudden, I had to abandon all work and head on urgency. Then PM was screwed to core by this and I couldnt care much. Eventually the defect was taken over by someone and same fix went in with new fixer. The feedback PM passed after I moved to new project was rather simple and kinda cute, 'Emotional Resource'. I'd like to consider other comments as typical of Project Manager that only comprise of 'Improvement Areas' no matter what effort engineer actually put-in. Anytime night or day, weekend or holiday or family function to attend to, to top this all I was a bachelor. That's it, bachelors were considered (in my company) to be having no social life nor possessing any element of organic entity!

I consciously admitted that I was emotional resource, so what? who is not? can you tell me. I was emotional about my own self, friends and family. I was emotional about all the dreams I saw as kid and young man. I was emotional virtually about the everything that mattered to me, my surrounding and I still am.

When I set out to accomplish something at work and when its done, I do get sense of achievement (emotionally uplifted?). When I do something that doesn't work but fails, it does affect my confidence more so with emotion. Although, it is momentary but it does matter. Come on, have you not gone through anytime? I believe its true with everyone else. Humans are not robots programmed to work, eat and sleep. There are five senses (sometimes sixth?) by which one gathers enough feelings to develop inhibitions, obviously he is bound to be attached directly or indirectly.

Have you ever given thought as to what's the underlying reason : In my opinion its Saving from pain! Its the root cause for developing any emotion. All sorts of pain, whether its you or someone else in pain, you basically do not want anyone to suffer.

Statistics based organisations function using matrix, eager to conclude and trying to fit in their own known matrix. So I was fit in to emotional quadrant, what quadrant do you fit? If being emotional is persued to be unacceptible what is being passionate about work? NO one stops you from working more or giving larger than life solutions. Oh but then the adjective is slightly reworded to 'efficient' is it. Heck! Where are the work ethics, does management measure absolute value-add from each individual? I bet they don't even dare to. Coz they very well know they do not add value, if at all they venturee to measure something in that territory, it'd set their own trap. So all this gimmick. Sensibly, this is justified from the very fact that, they can not innovate anything new, but barely manage (that's why managers?), sort-of-sustain-mentality.

Finally, being emotional does not hinder any progress, management needs to learn this and know how to channelise into proper direction. More importantly let humans be humane. After all, life was never meant to be so materialistically vacuum but a ride on wave of colourful emotions. Do you not feeleth?