Frame of mind

I've just been on a corporate training course, not the usual offsite management type courses full of ppts with an oversmart chap pretending to be IIM, enlightening new way of scientific management, but very basic one. One that deals with people as simple humans and patterns of behavior. The startling factor was that management is all about oneself, if one is able to identify and behave properly most of it is done; how often do we bother to manage our ownself?

I learnt that, every single individual has a frame of mind that comprises of 3 modes, namely I, J and N modes. To comprehend more...
'I' is for Information Mode where one persues and exhibits something as information.
'J' is for Judgement Mode where one judges and exhibits something as Judgement.
'N' is for New (way of doing things) Mode when there are interactions direct or indirect.

It is very important to be in an appropriate mode at all times. For example (this one is from participant) An Indian Mother-In-Law visits forign Son-In-Law in Europe, his first question after exchanging pleasentries was 'how long are you going to stay here?' Can you imagine a real life scene here... coming to the fact of it all the poor guy wanted was to plan her stay so that he could take her around Switzerland/France/Italy... that means he was in 'I' mode but MIL persued it in 'J' mode having judged him too soon and dismissed him out of hand. Genuinely the reason behind for MIL to persue like that was may be her culture/past experience/her own book of rules but effect is catastrophy. Where as had it been persued in 'I' she would have had a Europe trip, the guy very much exhibited 'I'.

If I relate this to work and home, often do I make mistake of being in an inappropriate mode and blow fun out. It is not entirely mistake of oneself, but how our brain works. Subconsciously brain stores all the plans that have worked as templates so that when a similar event is on going template can be retrived and result yields. This is the flip side of handling things in an established way.
At work I regularly need to make decisions and is important for me to be in 'J' and so also in 'I' and 'N', coz I just can not think of letting work relation hamper since it has a direct bearing on efficiency.
There are few more learnings, shall keep them for next :-) Putting one in to practice requires a radical shift... laughing at me? give it a try :-o)